i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
did you just send me my own nude
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
