I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize