I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
