those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
