Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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