i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
