So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
