people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
