I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
