Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize