it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
