I need help removing her.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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