halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
