Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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