The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize