ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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