what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
