Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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