the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
