Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
