Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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