I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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