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• (206): View more from Washington

  Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Hurt me personally.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.

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• (+63): View more from

  Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

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• (585): View more from New York

  She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you still free tonight?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday

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• (716): View more from New York

  Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.

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