i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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