just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
