i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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