Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
