So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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