we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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