Do you still have your period?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize