I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
