Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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