I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize