Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
