I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
