Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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