got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
