Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
