Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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