They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
