My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize