Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
