what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize