it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't deserve a penis
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
