The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
