Whod you bang
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
