oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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