she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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