are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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