Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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