Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
