I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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