What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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