Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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