We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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