I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize