Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
