She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
