Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
