Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize