I am puke
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
