I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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