stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
