Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You made out with two different species that night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
