Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
