I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
where are my eyebrows?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
