I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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