They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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