I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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