I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
