I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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