Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
