And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
