If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
