you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize